[Vol 1] The Secret Life Of An Honor Student Chapter 5
“Hey, hey, how about we go out this weekend?”
While we were doing our usual after-school photo session in the classroom, Mamiya suddenly said that as if she’d just remembered.
I averted my eyes from the fact that her shirt was hanging loosely off her shoulders, with a faint pink strap showing, and pressed the shutter button on her phone.
The way her healthy white shoulders and half-undressed look created a strangely seductive atmosphere might’ve been fine, but honestly, I was more worried about whether she was cold dressed like that in this season.
Still, going out, huh.
“What if I say no?”
“Then I’ll spill your secret.”
“Yeah, I figured.”
In the end, I didn’t really have the right to choose anyway.
“But are you sure it’s okay? What if someone sees us?”
“Hmm… Going somewhere far sounds like a pain. I don’t really want people to see me hanging out with you on a weekend either. Ah, not because I hate it or anything—just because I don’t want to cause you trouble.”
“You’re terrible at damage control.”
“It’s true, though. So, maybe we can disguise ourselves? Glasses and hats or something? That should be enough to fool most people.”
Somehow, this conversation was heading in a weird direction.
I wasn’t sure how effective disguises would even be, and honestly, I thought it’d be better if we didn’t go out together in the first place.
“Anyway, why me?”
“Because I don’t have any friends I can invite out on weekends.”
“So by that logic, I’m not your friend.”
“Are you upset?”
“Nope. Not at all. I mean, you’re blackmailing me.”
“It’s not like I’m treating you badly, right? I just wanted to go check out some winter coats. I figured it’d be nice to get a guy’s opinion.”
Even so, in essence, she was just asking me to carry her bags. And shopping for clothes… that’s bound to take forever.
Thanks to Aka-nee dragging me around before, I already knew how long and exhausting a woman’s shopping trip could be.
Maybe other guys would love this kind of situation, but honestly, I’d rather pass. Not that I have the option.
“…Fine. Saturday? Sunday?”
“Saturday, I think. It’s usually less crowded than Sunday.”
And just like that, our simple plan was set—then suddenly, a sound came from the hallway. My shoulders twitched. Mamiya looked startled too, but didn’t make a sound. We exchanged looks, and I went to check it out.
Opening the door and peeking both ways, I saw a girl holding a musical instrument—probably from the brass band—picking up some sheet music she’d dropped.
She didn’t look like she was hiding anything, and I didn’t think she’d noticed us. Relieved, I exhaled and quietly closed the door before heading back inside.
“...How was it?”
“Probably fine. Looked like a brass band girl who dropped her music.”
“Good. I was worried we’d get caught again.”
“You’d just threaten them like you did me, wouldn’t you?”
“If necessary, I wouldn’t hesitate.”
That was information I really didn’t need to know. Still, I guess it was comforting to think I wouldn’t be the only victim anymore.
Anyway, I was just as relieved we didn’t get caught. Mamiya and I had very different levels of credibility. There’s no telling when someone might accuse me of 'forcing her' or something.
“We’re done for the day, right? Heading home?”
“Yeah.”
Saturday, just before 10 a.m. A clear autumn sky stretched overhead.
I arrived a few minutes early at our meeting spot in front of the station, only to find the weekend crowd already pretty thick.
Busy-looking people in suits, cheerful folks laughing as they prepared to head out somewhere, and an old man sitting on a bench gazing absently at the sky.
As I took in that peaceful scene, trying to escape reality for a moment, I caught my reflection in the glass window to check my outfit before Mamiya arrived.
On top, I wore a white V-neck shirt with a khaki jacket over it. Simple black pants on the bottom. Basically, the mannequin look. No accessories or anything fancy.
I wasn’t trying to impress anyone, so this was fine.
That said, Aka-nee caught me when I was about to leave and insisted on doing my hair. She even used hair wax—something I never touch myself—and proudly declared, “You’ll be super popular now!” before sending me off. Honestly, I think it looks weird.
Still, since I’d be standing next to Mamiya, I figured it was fine to at least look presentable enough not to be an eyesore—but this felt like overkill.
I could already imagine her grinning smugly when she saw me… My stomach hurt just thinking about it.
“Mamiya’s… not here yet.”
I showed up a few minutes early to avoid being late, so naturally, she wasn’t here yet.
She’s the type who stands out, so there’s no way I’d miss her. If she didn’t show up on time, I’d just message her. Until then, I just needed to stay calm.
Honestly, I felt really heavy inside.
All of this was because of that one after-school moment. If I could time-travel, I’d stop myself with everything I had.
Having to secretly maintain a relationship with Mamiya—a model honor student, objectively beautiful—was way too risky for me.
“...All I can do is pray I don’t run into anyone we know.”
I prayed from the bottom of my heart to God, and spent the next few minutes fiddling with my phone—until I felt a stir in the crowd.
When I looked up, I saw that everyone’s attention in the station had gathered on one person.
Her glossy long hair swayed in the cool autumn breeze, and her low heels clicked softly against the pavement. It was a familiar face—Mamiya.
But her outfit was anything but familiar.
She wore a loose gray knit sweater paired with white skinny jeans that accentuated her long legs. A casual, well-balanced outfit that even someone fashion-blind like me could tell looked great.
A small silver teardrop-shaped pendant swung at her chest, adding just the right touch of elegance.
With little skin showing, her look was quietly graceful—almost modest.
Spotting me, Mamiya approached with a gentle smile.
“Good morning, Aisaka-kun. Did I keep you waiting?”
She greeted me in her usual polite tone.
And just like that, the people around us—all wondering who this beautiful girl had come to meet—turned their eyes on me. The attention was suffocating.
It wasn’t like I wanted to be here. So why did it feel like I was sitting on a bed of nails?
It was all Mamiya’s fault. But saying that wouldn’t change anything, so I sighed in resignation and tried to keep a straight face.
“Morning, Mamiya. I came a few minutes early so I wouldn’t be late.”
“...You’re supposed to say, ‘I just got here,’ you know.”
“Didn’t wait long anyway, so close enough.”
This wasn’t some kind of romantic date or anything. Mamiya just dragged me here to carry her stuff. Whatever people thought we looked like, that didn’t matter. I didn’t see any reason to act otherwise.
Though she looked a little dissatisfied, Mamiya cleared her throat softly.
“So then, since we’re going out together today…”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t you have something to say about how I look?”
With a teasing smile, she tilted her head slightly.
Something to say about her…? Oh, right. Maybe I was supposed to compliment her outfit?
That seemed about right. Even Aka-nee once told me, “You should always compliment a girl’s clothes!”
She probably wouldn’t be happy to hear it from me, but if I was wrong, I could just apologize later.
“Your outfit suits you.”
When I said what I honestly thought, Mamiya froze mid-smile.
After a brief pause, she replied stiffly,
“...That’s it?”
“What else am I supposed to say?”
“You didn’t think to compliment me in a bit more detail?”
“If some guy I’m not dating started doing that, wouldn’t it just be creepy?”
“...Ah, right. You really are that kind of person, Aisaka-kun.”
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Figure it out yourself.”
She spun around and started walking toward the station entrance.
I still had no idea what I’d done wrong, but I followed after her anyway.
Then, as we walked side by side, she suddenly said—
“By the way… you look pretty cool today, Aisaka-kun.”
With a small, playful laugh, she whispered it softly.
For a second, I froze, not quite processing what she’d said, before hastily chasing after her as she walked ahead.
The train took us to a large shopping complex filled with different stores. Being the weekend, the place was lively and crowded—and Mamiya, walking beside me, drew attention everywhere she went. Her looks alone made that unavoidable.
But still, having to endure all those eyes on us was exhausting.
Just being next to her was enough to make it hard to breathe.
“So, where are we going, exactly?”
I asked, letting my nervous and gloomy tone slip into my voice. In response, she gave a light sigh.
“No need to rush, no need to rush. I mean, you’re shopping with a girl— with me, no less! Any other guy would be crying tears of joy right now.”
“That’s exactly why I’m rushing you. Besides, my role here is just to carry the bags, right? Then the sooner this is over, the better.”
“You’re so cold. You could be a little honest, you know? Spending the weekend with such a cute girl… most guys would pay for that kind of privilege—”
“Don’t expose society’s dark side.”
That’s a dangerous topic to go further with. Though, I get what she’s trying to say.
As complicated as I felt, I couldn’t deny that Mamiya had a point.
Honestly, if I told anyone in class what was happening today, they’d think I was lying. From an objective point of view, her words were spot on. I’d even agree myself.
Even Natsu would probably doubt my memory.
“So, why are you walking two steps behind me?”
“Because I don’t know where you’re going. And I can feel people staring. My stomach hurts too, by the way.”
“...In that case, maybe we should go to a lingerie shop next. Sounds fun.”
“We’re not going there. Ever.”
“Are you sure? Because your face says, ‘I kinda wanna go.’”
“It does not.”
Can you please just take my words at face value? I’m not her boyfriend— getting dragged into a lingerie shop with her would be torture. Even if I did get dragged in, I’d be waiting outside. It’s not like I have any problem with the products, but knowing Mamiya, she’d just be doing it to mess with me.
She already does more than enough of that on a daily basis… better not think about it.
The more I think about my current situation, the more it gives me a headache. Am I ever going to have a normal school life again? I should really find a way to settle that photo issue before another two years go by.
“Personally, I’d rather you walk beside me.”
“Please think of my stomach and mental health.”
“If a cute girl like me is walking alone, guys will start hitting on me, you know? If things go bad, I might even get taken home after just tea. You okay with that, Aisaka-kun?”
“It’s not that I’m okay or not okay with it, but… knowing the usual you, I just can’t picture that happening. Still, yeah, I get the whole ‘guy deterrent’ thing.”
I already knew from Aka-nee that weird guys tend to approach women who are alone. And while Mamiya and I were only barely on acquaintance terms, I still wouldn’t feel great if something like that happened to her. I might not like her, and I’d love to end this whole weird relationship, but I’m not the type to take pleasure in someone else’s misfortune.
So I sped up and walked beside her. I wanted to keep some distance, but since we were in a store, I left just about one person’s space between us. For a relationship that’s neither romantic nor parental, this was just about right.
“Want to hold hands?”
“No.”
For warding off guys, there’s no need to hold hands. And since Mamiya’s obviously teasing me, there’s no point in responding seriously. I’ll just stay quiet and carry her stuff like a scarecrow.
The place Mamiya dragged me into was a store selling women’s clothing. As expected, all the clothes were for women, and most of the customers were women too. A few were with their boyfriends, but that didn’t make it any less awkward for me.
If anything, it just made me more self-conscious about how people might be seeing us.
“Can’t I just wait outside?”
“Nope. You’re my bag holder, but I also need you to tell me if something looks good on me.”
“Like I’ve said a dozen times— I can’t tell good from bad with this stuff.”
“Which means, if I can make even you say ‘It looks good,’ that means it’s really good, right?”
Mamiya smirked smugly and gave a proud little “hmph.” So she’s dead set on dragging me along, huh?
Behind that smile is probably the thought, ‘I’m going to have fun making him suffer.’ Maybe that’s me being paranoid… but honestly, probably not.
As long as that photo exists, Mamiya will always have the upper hand. There’s no point resisting, so all I can do is give up and go along with it.
And so, reluctantly— really reluctantly— I ended up joining her for clothes shopping.
“It’s so hard to pick clothes, you know? Everything looks good, but it’s not like I have the money to buy it all.”
“Wouldn’t it be easier if you already decided what you’re buying?”
“But it’s fun to look around! You can’t tell until you see them in person. Every brand’s sizing feels a little different too.”
...She’s got a point, but I still wish she’d do this kind of thing alone.
Mamiya circled the store once, holding up outfits she liked against her body for me to see. They all looked the same to me, but apparently, there were differences only she could tell.
I didn’t have the energy to come up with clever comments, and critiquing Mamiya’s fashion choices just sounded like a pain. So I said the first safe thing that came to mind—
“Looks good.”
“Are you even looking properly?”
“Even if I do, I still don’t get it. But honestly, I think anything would look good on you.”
She’s on a different level to begin with. My opinion shouldn’t matter— she should just pick whatever she wants with confidence. That’s all I meant, but for some reason, Mamiya froze for a second, her cheeks tinting slightly red as she looked away.
...Huh? Was there something embarrassing about what I said?
“Hey, Mamiya?”
“—!”
When I called out to her, she flinched, her shoulders jerking as if she were an old door creaking open. Then she turned her head toward me in slow motion.
“I don’t know what you’re thinking, but can we just finish shopping already?”
“...Right. You’re right. Of course that wasn’t what you meant. You’re Aisaka-kun, after all.”
“I feel like I was just insulted in a really roundabout way.”
“You brought that on yourself. Anyway… Aisaka-kun, which do you prefer— white or black?”
She held up two duffle coats, one white and one black.
Honestly, either was fine, but—
“If I had to pick, maybe white. I think it’d make your black hair stand out.”
When I finally managed to answer, she said, “I see,” and then promptly hung the white one back on the rack.
And with a sly smile, she added—
“Then I’ll go with the black one.”
“I fail to see the logic in that.”
“If I trust your sense of style, then white’s definitely a no-go.”
“...Can’t even argue with that.”
It’s true— my fashion sense is worthless. Maybe I have the potential to improve if I polish up a bit, but right now, I’m just plain rusted. No excuses there.
I kind of wanted to ask why she even bothered asking for my opinion in the first place, but whatever. As long as we’re done shopping, I’m fine. If I tried to question everything, we’d be here until sunset.
“I’m going to go pay.”
“I’ll wait outside.”
“You’re not buying it for me? That’d be a fair price to pay for letting you see me in all these outfits, don’t you think?”
“Your narcissism’s getting out of control.”
I was only dragged here— why would I pay for her clothes too?
Thankfully, she was joking. She laughed a little before heading to the register alone. If she wasn’t joking, that would’ve been the real joke.
Once I was alone, I thought back to her weird reaction earlier.
“...What was that about, anyway?”
I sighed, deciding I’d just let it go and waited for Mamiya to finish paying.
“It’s already noon, huh? Wanna grab something from the food court?”
“Yeah, sure.”
While we’d been looking around at clothes and trinkets, it had already passed noon. We decided to have lunch there.
Mamiya’s new coat was now in a paper bag, and my left hand was occupied holding it. Walking beside a slightly cheerful Mamiya felt a little uncomfortable, but I pushed that aside as we arrived at the crowded food court.
“It’s packed.”
“It’s lunchtime, after all. So, what do we do? Look for seats, go somewhere else, or come back later?”
“If we come back later, where are we going in the meantime?”
“Oh, obviously— the lingerie shop.”
“Denied.”
Can she stop with the pink-colored thoughts, please? She pouted in protest, but I ignored her. This one’s completely her fault.
So… it’s either find seats here or eat elsewhere— huh?
Wait a sec. Is that… Natsu and Tatara?
The two of them were holding hands out in the open, surrounded by a sweet, sugary atmosphere. Were they on a date? Both were dressed nicely, smiling and laughing together. It was such a lovey-dovey sight it made me queasy— and seeing the usually overconfident Natsu acting all soft was kinda funny. Still, this wasn’t the time for that.
“Mamiya, let’s move. I think my friends are here.”
“Huh?”
She gasped softly, eyes widening.
“...So you do have friends, Aisaka-kun.”
“You want me to hit you with a gender-equality punch?”
“Violence is bad!”
“Then stop saying stuff that makes me want to commit it— Anyway, if they see us together, that’d be bad, right?”
At school, Mamiya was a standout honor student, and I was just some background guy. The difference between us was huge, and we didn’t exactly seem like people who’d hang out together.
If those two saw us together on a weekend like this… no way that ends well.
I trust Natsu and Tatara, but still— better to minimize risk. Even if they figured out there was some reason we were together, they’d definitely tease me about it.
...Yeah, no thanks.
I looked at Mamiya as if to say, 'You don’t want trouble either, right?' She touched her chin, thought for a moment, and then nodded quietly.
“We can’t really pass it off as a coincidence. Let’s just—”
But right as she turned around— she and Natsu made eye contact. His eyes widened little by little.
Yeah, no mistaking it. He saw us.
...Goodbye, peaceful life.
“Mamiya, he noticed.”
“How are we explaining this?”
“...Let’s say we’ve known each other for a while, and I’m just helping you carry stuff today.”
“If that works for you, fine. But will Shishikura-san buy that?”
“I’ll believe he will. He’s sharp enough to sense there’s some kind of reason behind it.”
If I told them honestly that I didn’t want people at school to find out, they’d probably understand. Even if I get teased in private later, I can live with that. At the very least, I didn’t want to cause Mamiya any trouble.
As Natsu and Tatara walked over, Tatara covered her mouth in surprise when Natsu whispered something to her, eyes wide like saucers.
Natsu was already grinning ear to ear. I could practically feel my irritation rising. To avoid giving him any satisfaction, I kept my expression perfectly neutral.
“Yo, Akito. Are we interrupting something?”
He smiled with fake innocence, but behind that grin was pure mischief— the kind that comes from smelling gossip.
Mamiya had already slipped on her honor student mask, wearing a polite, slightly surprised smile as if meeting an acquaintance by chance.
That mask had years of practice behind it.
“There’s nothing to interrupt. We’re not like that.”
“Oh, good afternoon, Shishikura-san. And this young lady is…?”
“My girlfriend,” Natsu said proudly, puffing his chest out.
Tatara smiled brightly, like a flower blooming in spring.
“I’m Tatara Hikari! This must be our first time meeting, Mamiya-san? And Akikun— fancy meeting you here! And with her, of all people!”
“Yeah, it’s… complicated.”
“Uh-huh, uh-huh. Good for you, though?”
Tatara beamed, completely misunderstanding everything. I didn’t have the energy to explain, so I decided to just go with it.
Mamiya smiled gracefully. “I’m Mamiya Yuu. Nice to meet you.”
Beside her, Natsu gave me a thumbs-up with a grin that said 'You lucky bastard.'
...I’m so gonna strangle him later.
“So tell me,” Natsu said, “what kind of situation leads to you two spending your day off together like this? You gonna explain, or what?”
“It’s not a date. I’m just carrying her bags.”
“We’ve been acquainted for a while,” Mamiya added smoothly. “When I mentioned I was going shopping, he kindly offered to come along. It’s been a big help.”
“That so? Well, glad to hear it.”
I could feel my stomach twisting as I matched her story, keeping my responses as flat as possible while silently praying they’d get the hint. But Natsu and Tatara just stared at us, looking more and more amazed.
“Man, didn’t see this coming. What do you think, Hii-chan?”
“They’re totally gonna get together! I give it… a month and a half?”
“That’d make it Christmas, huh? Perfect timing.”
“You two are doing this on purpose, aren’t you?”
“Ah, busted.”
My tone made it clear how annoyed I was, but Natsu just laughed it off, looking away. Tatara followed suit, forcing a smile. Peas in a pod, those two.
Mamiya kept her polite expression, though I could tell she seemed a little uncomfortable. Was she bad at handling unexpected stuff like this? Or maybe… she just really hated the idea of being mistaken for my girlfriend.
“Anyway,” Natsu said, “we’re in the way here. Why don’t we all eat together?”
“You’ve got your girlfriend with you. Go eat with her.”
“Aw, come on! This looks way more fun. Right, Hii-chan?”
“Totally! We can’t just ignore this!”
“...Mamiya, your call.”
“Let’s join them. It’s a rare opportunity, after all.”
“Great, it’s settled! We’ll grab seats— oh, there’s an open spot! Come on!”
Natsu scanned the food court and spotted a table for four, waving us over.
“...Sorry about this, Mamiya.”
“It’s fine. Once in a while is okay. Just make sure our stories match.”
“Got it.”
While Natsu and Tatara went off to buy burgers, Mamiya and I used the time to quietly coordinate our cover story. We couldn’t let them know the truth, so we’d just have to sell our lie completely. Since Mamiya had already mentioned we’d known each other for a while, we’d have to build from that premise.
“So, let’s see… You and I have known each other for a while, we live nearby, and we talk sometimes. Today, I just wanted to consult with you about something, so we came shopping together while we were at it… that should work, right?”
“That sounds reasonable enough. Not sure if they’ll buy it, though.”
“All we need is for them to misunderstand in a convenient way. Easy peasy.”
“Where does that confidence even come from? My only worry is that Natsu might poke into things. That guy’s got sharp instincts, for all his goofiness.”
Natsu might look like the laid-back type, but he actually observes people really well.
I have a feeling he might already suspect that Mamiya and I aren’t in that kind of relationship, and that there’s some hidden reason we’re together.
“If we get caught, it’s bad for both of us. So yeah, let’s team up. Let’s do our best.”
“Yeah… oh, speak of the devil.”
Just as we finished aligning our stories, the two of them came back carrying trays with burgers on them.
“Sorry for making you hold the seats for us.”
“Thanks, Mamiya-san, Aki-kun.”
“Don’t worry about it. We’re gonna go pick ours now.”
“Right.”
“Even now you two move together, huh? You’re so in sync.”
“It’s just more efficient that way.”
I shot Natsu a glare, silently telling him to stop teasing us, but he stayed as cool as ever. Figuring it was pointless to argue, I sighed and joined Mamiya in line to order.
“Still, I’m surprised. You eat hamburgers too, huh?”
“And what exactly did you think of me before this?”
“I just imagined you as a rich girl living in a big house. You know, the kind who avoids fast food or cup noodles because they’re ‘bad for your body.’ ”
“Too bad. I eat burgers just fine. Not really into cup noodles, though. But you see, the real me is a simple, friendly, down-to-earth, totally ordinary beautiful girl.”
“‘Totally ordinary beautiful girl’ is a contradiction in a single sentence.”
After the line moved forward, we placed our orders and waited a few minutes. I got an egg-chicken burger drenched in sauce, while Mamiya went for an ebi-fillet burger with shrimp cutlet, veggies, and aurora sauce. Each of us also grabbed a medium fries and a drink.
When we returned to our seats, the other two greeted us with a sweet atmosphere that felt way too romantic for a fast-food place.
“You could’ve started eating without us, you know.”
“Nah, we were waiting! It’s not every day we all get to have lunch together, right?”
“Sorry to keep you waiting.”
“It’s fine, it’s fine! I actually wanted to ask you guys a few things anyway!”
“Exactly. So, spill it, Akito—what’s really going on between you two?”
“Nothing shady, I swear.”
That was a lie.
The relationship between Mamiya and me was built entirely on a secret we couldn’t tell anyone. I steeled my nerves to keep any sign of unease from showing, acting as normal as I could.
Getting exposed would be bad for both of us—and the consequences, especially for me, were something I didn’t even want to imagine. So all I could do was keep hiding the truth.
I glanced at Mamiya for a split second. Our eyes met briefly, and then we both said, "Itadakimasu,” before beginning what promised to be a very tense lunch.
“──So, what’s the deal between you two, anyway?”
“...Friends? Or something like that.”
“Yes, that’s probably the closest way to describe it.”
“And yet you two seem pretty close for ‘just friends.’ It’s like you can read each other’s minds or something.”
“I get that vibe too.”
Our conversation continued in between bites of burger.
Natsu and Tatara had completely misunderstood, thinking Mamiya and I were closer than just friends. Technically, they weren’t wrong—but there was no way I could admit that.
From an outsider’s perspective, the kind of photos Mamiya and I took together after school would seem downright abnormal.
The reason behind it—the photo that gave Mamiya leverage over me—was something that could never see the light of day.
The moment anyone found out, everything would be over.
Watching Natsu and Tatara happily munch on their burgers, I took a sip of cola, letting the fizzing bubbles sharpen my thoughts.
“It just feels natural seeing you two together... Especially you, Akito. Normally you keep your distance from people, but around Mamiya, it’s like you drop your guard.”
“Oh! I thought the same thing! I don’t know Aki-kun as well as Nacchan does, but it’s obvious he’s comfortable with Mamiya-san. He cares about her, but not in a forced, polite way.”
“...Well, we’ve talked a few times before, that’s all. Maybe it looks that way because I don’t really think of her like that.”
“See? He’s always like this. So mean, isn’t he?”
“Totally.”
“You went out with a cute girl like Mamiya-chan and you act like it’s nothing? Seriously?”
Tatara said while nibbling on a long fry. Mamiya and Natsu both nodded in agreement—and hey, hold on. Mamiya, you’re supposed to be on my side here. Why are you joining them in making me the bad guy?
It started as two-on-two, but now it’s three-against-one. Great.
I popped a few fries into my mouth to distract myself. The crispy texture and perfect saltiness helped soothe my frayed nerves a little.
Yeah... this flavor really hits the spot.
“But still... even with all that, spending time with you is really fun, Aisaka-kun.”
“...Good for you.”
“Oh? He’s blushing.”
“I’m not.”
Natsu leaned forward with a teasing grin, and I quickly looked away to avoid eye contact, hoping to escape the one-sided teasing.
I’m not blushing. Probably.
I touched my cheek just to be sure, feeling a faint warmth there. It was probably nothing. Deciding to ignore it, I finished off my cola in one gulp.
“Hey, is this you two showing off? ’Cause it totally sounds like you’re showing off.”
“Man, if we’re gonna deal with this lovey-dovey couple, we’ll have to do some showing off of our own!”
“Quit flirting in public, you’re an eyesore.”
“Aisaka-kun, could it be that you’re... jealous?”
“Not a chance. And whose side are you even on, Mamiya?”
“I’m on my own side, of course.”
...Yeah, she’s definitely just toying with me for fun.
Feeling utterly cornered, I prayed for the end of this exhausting lunch while trying to keep up with their nonstop chatter... or at least, that’s what I told myself.
“Well, see you back at school! Have fun, lovebirds~”
“Mind your own business.”
Natsu grinned mischievously, while Tatara waved with a cheerful smile. Once they were gone, I finally exhaled the tension I’d been holding in.
“That was fun, wasn’t it?”
“You’re joking, right?”
“You didn’t have fun, Aisaka-kun?”
“If that counts as fun, then just about everything else in life would be too.”
Unlike me—who’d been on edge the entire time—Mamiya had stayed perfectly composed from start to finish. That calmness must come from living her life behind a perfect honor-student mask. Not that I’d ever want to learn how to do that.
“Still, at least we managed to pass as friends.”
“Friends...?”
“Don’t suddenly question it like that.”
“Sorry, sorry. It’s just kind of new, hearing you call me your friend.”
“Right, I forgot—you don’t have any friends, huh?”
“The correct way to say that is ‘I don’t have any friends I can be myself around.’ Careful, or I’ll pick a fight.”
“If I’m not your friend, then it’s not even wrong.”
Hit with that bit of brutal logic, Mamiya fell silent... then sighed, as if giving up.
“There are some things you just shouldn’t say, you know?”
“Pretty sure you’re the one who started this.”
“Even so, throwing logic at me is just cruel. Ugh, I’m so hurt. Really hurt.”
She made a show of looking pitiful, practically radiating ‘look how sad I am’ energy. It made my conscience ache a little.
Mamiya knew how to use every one of her advantages—her cute looks, her calculated gestures, her tone of voice, her gaze—all of it, like weapons designed to break down anyone in her way.
Any normal guy would’ve fallen right into her trap. But since I knew the truth about her, all I could feel was a vague sense of guilt.
Still... the location was a problem.
We were in a shopping mall, surrounded by people. And right there, Mamiya was pulling her usual antics next to me, while I stood with an unamused face.
Of course we were drawing attention.
“...What exactly do you want?”
When I asked, she gave me a soft smile and said,
“Lingerie shop.”
She said it as naturally as if she’d just named a café. My face twitched instinctively.
After all that protesting, she was still insisting on this? Is it really that important to her?
“Why are you so obsessed with underwear?”
“Because it sounds fun. I mean, imagine it—me picking something out while you’re standing beside me, thinking ‘Wait, Mamiya actually wears this kind of thing to school...?’ You’d probably look away all embarrassed but can’t help sneaking glances again.”
“That’s literally devilish.”
“But you’d look anyway.”
“Saying that just ruins everything! And you’re the one showing it, not me!”
I swear, I’m not looking because I want to.
The world—or rather, Mamiya herself—is forcing me to. I’m innocent here.
Even if I claim to be indifferent to romance, I’m still a normal high school guy. And Mamiya’s deliberate teasing hits harder than I’d like to admit. Too bad there’s zero romance here—only the threat of ruin if I disobey.
I didn’t want anything like that from her. Honestly, I wished she’d stop altogether.
That said… if someone asked whether I could forget the things I’ve already seen of Mamiya—well, unfortunately, I’d have to say no.
For someone like me, who has no resistance to that kind of thing, it’s way too much stimulation.
“But, dragging you along when you clearly don’t want to come wouldn’t be fun either. So... let’s go somewhere else instead. Since we’re out together, I’d rather you actually enjoy it.”
“...Mamiya, you...”
“So, there’s this place I wanna visit. Is that okay?”
“Depends on where.”
“A bookstore.”
I’d half expected her to dodge the question, but she answered plainly. Come to think of it, I often saw her reading books at school. Guess there’s something she wants to buy.
With no reason to refuse, I nodded, and we headed to the bookstore inside the mall.
As soon as we entered the quiet store, Mamiya walked confidently toward some section only she seemed to know. I followed her, and when we arrived—
“...Manga?”
“Yep. Surprised?”
“A little. You always seemed like the literary-novel type.”
“I just read all kinds of stuff, that’s all.”
We spoke in low voices as she scanned the shelves lined with hundreds of manga titles. The selection was all over the place, no real pattern. She must have broad tastes.
“But you know, just looking through these shelves is fun, isn’t it?”
“Yeah... I kinda get that.”
“Right? It’s like discovering something new. Sometimes a title just catches your eye and you feel it instantly.”
Her tone turned lively, her eyes bright with genuine excitement. Seeing Mamiya like that made me smile before I realized it. It was rare for her to openly show enthusiasm about something she liked—honestly, maybe the first time I’d seen it.
I read manga too, but nowhere near as passionately. I just knew a few popular titles, that’s all.
“So Mamiya’s actually kind of an otaku, huh?”
“...Well, that depends on your definition. I don’t think I’m that bad. Calling myself one would feel disrespectful to actual otaku.”
“See? Saying that already makes you sound like one.”
“Shut up.”
She pinched my arm through my sleeve. Ow, that actually hurt. Seriously, if I drop these bags, it’s your fault.
…I guess this time, I was also kind of at fault.
But Mamiya didn’t seem to care in the slightest—she simply quickened her pace.
She moved from shelf to shelf, checking each section without sparing me a glance. But nothing seemed to catch her eye; she passed by everything and headed straight for the new releases corner.
There, for the first time, Mamiya reached out and picked up a manga. “That Time I Was Reincarnated as a Dragon,” huh…? A trendy reincarnation fantasy series. It’s a well-known title with over a dozen volumes. I’d read the early ones before, and I remember finding them pretty interesting.
“Found it! The new volume came out yesterday.”
“...Good for you.”
“What’s with that cold tone? Oh, I get it. You wanted to read it too, right? That’s fine, I’ll lend it to you later.”
“You just want an excuse to lend it, don’t you?”
“You looked like you wanted to read it.”
Why’s she acting so stubborn here? She could’ve just said she wanted me to read it.
Well, if she’s offering, I’ll take it. It’s not like I don’t want to read it anyway.
“Anything else?”
“There should be… Ah, there it is.”
The next one she grabbed had oddly sparkly-eyed characters on the cover—wait, is that a shoujo manga? The title read “I’ve Always Loved You.” …Sorry, but that really doesn’t suit her.
“...What? Is it so wrong for me to read stuff like this?”
Her words hit me like she’d read my mind. I quickly shook my head, but it was clear she’d caught on. The discontented look in her eyes didn’t go away.
At this point, the only thing to do was come clean.
“...It’s not wrong. Just… unexpected.”
“...Yeah, I figured. I know it doesn’t suit me. The reason I read these is… to experience love vicariously, I guess. Not that it’s ever worked.”
Looking troubled, Mamiya lowered her gaze to the manga’s cover. It showed a blushing girl next to a handsome boy, the latter wearing a confident grin.
Experiencing romance vicariously through shoujo manga, huh…? In the end, manga are fiction. Reality doesn’t go the way stories do—there’s no convenient drama in real life.
“Is it fun to read?”
“Hmm… not especially. But I want to know what it’s like, so I keep reading. Maybe someday I’ll understand.”
Was that longing I heard in her voice?
Romance is something most people experience naturally, without being told to. Mamiya’s probably had people like her before, so she’s brushed up against those feelings more than once.
Even so, she probably can’t bring herself to feel genuine love for anyone.
Not as long as she carries a secret she can’t tell anyone—and a mask she can’t take off.
“So, those two are all you’re getting?”
“Yup. I’ll go pay.”
Mamiya hugged the two books and went to the register. It didn’t take long before she returned, tucking them neatly into her coat bag. Less luggage was better, after all.
“Thanks. You sure you don’t wanna look around?”
“I already did while tagging along with you.”
“I see. Then, how about a little snack? It’s kinda early, but maybe ice cream?”
“You’ll get fat.”
“It goes in a separate stomach, so it’s fine. And even if it’s not, I’ll just pretend it is.”
“If you say so.”
“Then it’s settled! Let’s go!”
With a graceful turn of her long hair, Mamiya headed toward the ice cream shop line, her smile blooming like a flower as she beckoned me along.
That voice, that gesture, that expression—no good.
Even though I knew Mamiya didn’t mean anything by it, something in my chest ached as old memories overlapped with the present. To her, I was just a convenient helper; there was nothing between us but practicality. Feelings like love would only be a nuisance—for either of us.
Love is just a trick of the brain.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm the emotions swirling inside me—until the fog in my head finally began to clear.
“Aisaka-kun, you’re so slow!”
“...Yeah. Coming.”
Even though I tried to steady myself, the tension didn’t completely fade. Maybe she noticed, because when I stood beside her, Mamiya frowned slightly and peered into my face.
“You seem kinda down. Don’t tell me you hate ice cream?”
“Not really.”
“Then it’s me you hate being around, huh?”
“...No. It’s not you I hate—it’s myself.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Her voice was full of confusion at my honest reply.
Mamiya stared at me for a moment, then reached out and gently touched my cheek. The suddenness of it froze me in place.
“I’ve never once thought you were unpleasant, Aisaka-kun. Even when your words and face say otherwise… I can tell you’re warm.”
Her tone was soft—tender, like someone speaking to a child.
From the palm resting on my cheek came a faint, spreading warmth. The moment I became aware of it, my body felt hot, the stiffness inside me slowly melting away. It was a comforting, almost sweet feeling that made me want to sink into it—and that’s when I finally snapped back to reality.
I should’ve just stepped back and let her hand fall away. Instead, I grabbed her wrist and moved it aside myself, turning away as if to flee from the lingering sensation on my cheek. My brows knit together as I rubbed my forehead.
Damn it. I did it again.
“...Please don’t take it personally. You didn’t do anything wrong. This is just… my problem.”
“...I see. Okay, I understand.”
Her quiet reply carried a faint trace of disappointment.
And from that, a pang of guilt spread through my chest.
It’s not like I want to dislike her. She’s not at fault. It’s just that, without meaning to, I keep projecting my past failures onto her.
I know that much.
Even so… it’s still too hard for me.
“...Anyway, ice cream, right? Order whatever you want.”
“You’re treating me?”
“Call it self-satisfaction. An apology for the trouble.”
“Hmm… Then I’ll take you up on that. Oh, but in exchange, we’re sharing bites, okay?”
“As long as we’re not feeding each other, fine.”
“Yay!”
Mamiya’s smile bloomed like a flower again, and I felt a dull ache in my chest. I brushed it off with a wry smile and joined the line, scanning the dozens of ice cream flavors before us.
“That was good,” Mamiya said afterward, her eyes soft and content.
I gave a small nod in response.
Despite saying it was on me, Mamiya didn’t hesitate to order three flavors—choco mint, orange sherbet, and rich milk—and happily devoured them all. I ordered bitter chocolate and ate it slowly, trading scoops with her halfway through. We ended up trying four flavors in total.
I felt like I’d gotten more than my share, but when she said, “You’re treating me, so it’s fine,” I couldn’t exactly argue. In the end, she practically forced me to take more.
After finishing, we left the food court when Mamiya suddenly said,
“Hey, can you wait here for a sec?”
“Hm? Sure. You wanna check out a shop or something?”
“...You could use your intuition here.”
Her flat stare told me everything. I blinked, pieced it together, and realized she meant the restroom. No need to say it out loud.
I nodded and saw her off, then killed time nearby.
“Haah…”
I let out a sigh, realizing just how mentally drained I was.
It was hard enough just going out with Mamiya alone, and running into Natsu had been completely unexpected. When unfamiliar situations and surprises pile up like that… yeah, it’s exhausting. I never want to experience that kind of fatigue again.
Still—
It’s not like it was all bad.
At the very least, it was less boring than spending the weekend at home.
Not that I’d ever admit Mamiya had anything to do with that.
“Mission accomplished, I guess… but I’m just not built for this stuff.”
It wasn’t just Mamiya—being alone with any girl was a high hurdle for me.
I never knew what to talk about or how to sound casual, and things always ended up awkward. Even if I didn’t mean to, I probably made her uncomfortable more than once.
If I’d kept my guard up earlier, maybe that moment before the ice cream wouldn’t have happened. I thought I’d moved on, but clearly, I was still dragging my past along.
“...Yeah, I really am hopeless.”
“What’s wrong? You look so gloomy.”
A light, bell-like voice broke through my thoughts.
Startled, I looked up—and there was Mamiya, smiling softly, her flawless face framed by the light.
Our eyes met, her round pupils reflecting my face back at me.
“You’re back. Mind if I go now?”
“Go ahead. I’ll hold your stuff.”
I handed her my bag and went off. After washing my hands and chuckling wryly at my pathetic reflection in the mirror, I came back—only to see Mamiya surrounded by three unfamiliar guys.
Wait, seriously? That fast? I was gone for, what, three minutes?
She wore a forced smile, clearly annoyed, though she was trying to stay polite and not provoke them. The guys, meanwhile, were completely fixated on her.
“C’mon, hang out with us.”
“Yeah, forget that guy who left you all alone. Let’s have some fun instead.”
“We’ve got cash, we’ll treat you.”
They were all smiles and smooth words, but the hunger in their eyes was impossible to miss. Mamiya wasn’t falling for it, but they were persistent.
She’s probably used to this kind of crap, but still—this was getting annoying fast.
“...This is exactly the kind of moment I’m supposed to step in for. What a pain.”
Yeah, I was basically assigned two jobs: carry her stuff and scare off creeps. Guess it was time to do the latter.
If only I were more physically imposing, I could fake confidence and pull her out easily…
...No, that’s just an excuse.
Right now, the only reasonable thing to do was to help her. That was it. Nothing strange about that.
I took a deep breath to steady my nerves and walked over to them.
“Sorry to keep you waiting.”
“Aisaka-kun…!”
Noticing me, Mamiya immediately grabbed my right hand.
My heartbeat spiked, but I kept my composure and turned to the guys.
I hadn’t expected her to hold my hand, but in this situation, it worked perfectly.
I let my expression say, “She’s with me.”
“Sorry, we’ve got somewhere to be,” I said aloud, subtly telling them to back off as I pulled Mamiya away. She followed my lead without resistance, understanding instantly what I was doing. I was scared of what she might say later, but this was the best option we had.
The guys clicked their tongues behind us, clearly annoyed, but didn’t follow. Once we were safely in a crowded area, I leaned against the wall and let out a deep sigh.
“Man… I’m not built for this kind of stuff.”
Mamiya chuckled softly, lowering her brows. “Thanks back there. They were pretty persistent.”
Hearing her honest gratitude left me oddly off-balance.
“Yeah, sure.”
“Guess it was a good thing I brought you along. Usually, I’d have to keep refusing until they got bored—or call the cops.”
“...You’ve really been through this before, huh.”
“Yup. I can’t even shop in peace sometimes. But I guess it’s fine when you’re around.”
“Don’t tell me you’re planning to drag me along again.”
“Why not? You’ve got nothing better to do. I’ll let you be my cute bodyguard.”
“Don’t assume I’ve got no life. I do have plans, you know.”
If she expected me to do this every week, no chance. Maybe once every few months… depending on her mood.
“Hey, Aisaka-kun.”
“What.”
“You’re still holding my hand.”
I froze, only now realizing my fingers were still intertwined with hers, and quickly let go.
It had been a natural reaction earlier—pure convenience—but now that I thought about it, it felt like a big deal. Mamiya’s surprised look soon melted into laughter as she held her stomach.
“Ahaha, you seriously didn’t notice?”
“...Cut me some slack.”
“You grabbed my hand without thinking because you were worried. See? You really are kind, Aisaka-kun.”
“Don’t say weird stuff.”
“Are you embarrassed? Aww, cute.”
Still smirking, she poked my stomach playfully. I tried to pull away, but before I could, she caught my wrist.
“...Could you let go?”
“We might run into more creeps, you know. This way, it’s obvious I’m not alone.”
“We’ll be fine just walking side by side.”
“What, you don’t wanna hold hands with me?”
“Not exactly something I want to do.”
I gave her a flat look, but she averted her gaze for a moment, then quietly said,
“...If I told you I was scared, would you hold my hand?”
Her upward glance and soft, trembling voice caught in my throat.
Wait. Calm down. She was really… scared?
Surrounded by men bigger than her—it made sense. Even if she hadn’t shown it, she must’ve been afraid.
I studied her expression, but there wasn’t a trace of deceit. Maybe she really meant it.
...And if she was lying, well, I could live with that.
“Here.”
I offered my hand deliberately, meeting her eyes so she’d know it wasn’t out of affection but intent. She grasped it gently at first, then a little tighter, as if testing the warmth.
Her hand was soft and warm—unnervingly so. My heart skipped, but I didn’t pull away.
Mamiya let out a small sigh of relief, her expression softening into a smile.
“It’s warm.”
“Guess so.”
“You’re nervous, huh? Your hand’s all sweaty.”
“Yeah, sorry. If it bothers you, let go.”
“Nope. You’re humoring my selfishness, so I won’t complain. Besides… it’s comforting. Just knowing someone’s there—it makes things a little easier.”
Her eyelids lowered as she spoke, her voice calm and peaceful.
There’s no one in Mamiya’s life she can truly be herself around. I only happened to learn the truth by chance—and because of that… yeah.
It didn’t have to be me holding her hand.
Even so... when I saw the relieved look on Mamiya’s face, I knew I’d made the right choice. I didn’t regret it. If doing this could ease even a little of the fear she’d been carrying, then maybe what I did wasn’t so wrong after all.
“So, what now? If you don’t have anything else to do, we should probably head back.”
“Yeah... you’re right. We might run into someone from school again.”
“If anyone sees us like this, I won’t be able to show my face at school ever again.”
“Then I’ll help you explain. I’ll tell them you helped me out after a few... complicated circumstances.”
“I’m counting on you for that, seriously.”
That was one situation where I could only rely on Mamiya’s help. If she said so herself, everyone would probably just let it slide.
“...So, it’s fine if we stay like this until we get home, right?”
“What are you, a kid?”
“Make sure I don’t get lost, okay?”
“A spoiled, overgrown kid like you is way too much trouble to handle.”
“Are you talking about me?”
“Who else would I be talking about?”
I narrowed my eyes at her, and Mamiya puffed out her lips in mock protest, muttering, “You’re so mean.” That made me laugh quietly before I even realized it.
◆
[Mamiya's POV]
Still holding hands with Aisaka-kun, I rode the train home. But the moment I stepped through my front door, the rush of embarrassment and loneliness swelling from deep inside my chest became too much to bear, and I sank to my knees. Covering my face with both hands, I replayed the choices I’d made—choices that didn’t feel like me at all.
“...Ah, seriously, what’s wrong with me?”
My whisper echoed through the quiet house.
It was true that I’d been scared when those strange men surrounded me at the shopping mall. They hadn’t touched me, but if they had, I wouldn’t have been able to resist. They could’ve easily dragged me away.
But what they saw was just the surface I kept polished for everyone else. The real me—the one underneath—was never what they wanted.
Being faced with that unwanted attention had shaken something in me. It reminded me of a loneliness I’d been pretending not to feel. Maybe I just wanted to cover that feeling up, somehow, with something else.
And then—when Aisaka-kun came to help me, I couldn’t help but wonder if he was only seeing the same fake version of me that everyone else did. That doubt made me weak. That’s why, on the way home, I held his hand... just to see for myself.
“...And yet, even though he looked like he didn’t know what to do, he held my hand all the way home. It was frustrating... but at the same time, I felt safe. ...Ugh, I really don’t get it anymore.”
My feelings were such a mess that even I couldn’t make sense of them.
It all started because Aisaka-kun accidentally discovered my secret. Our relationship was built on that one moment—on my blackmailing him to keep quiet. I’ll admit, teasing him was fun, so I’d kept finding excuses to talk to him... but feeling something like this? That’s just wrong.
Because Aisaka-kun doesn’t like me. Not like that. He’s only putting up with me because I’m forcing him to, so his school life doesn’t get ruined. The reason he never denies who I really am isn’t because he accepts me—it’s just risk management. If he could, I’m sure he’d cut ties with me immediately. And yet... even so, he still reached out to me.
For someone who seems to carry his own burdens, Aisaka-kun is way too kind.
“Feelings like love are just convenient misunderstandings, right? It’s not that. He only helped me because... that’s what a decent friend would do.”
I wanted to believe that.
But the past wouldn’t stop replaying in my mind.
Back in middle school, I was betrayed and insulted by someone I thought was my friend. Ever since then, I stopped showing my true self to anyone.
I put on the mask of the perfect honor student—nice to everyone, never causing trouble, never getting too close. It was the only way I could avoid getting hurt again... or so I thought. Eventually, I realized how naive that was. It didn’t stop the pain—it just buried it.
More than once, boys mistook my polite kindness for affection and confessed to me. When I turned them down, they’d sulk and say things like, “But you were always so nice to me.” They forced their selfish misunderstandings onto me. Even now, the girls who liked those boys glare at me like I’m some kind of rival, just because I happen to smile at the wrong time.
The world of girls is exhausting—always cautious, always full of hidden tension. Living in that constant web of schemes has worn me out completely.
I never wanted to win anyone over, or start a relationship. But even if I tried to avoid it, I always ended up being dragged into the drama anyway.
Even when I tried to solve things peacefully, my own position got in the way.
“I know I have an ulterior motive for wanting Aisaka-kun to delete that photo, but... could that alone really make him do all that for me?”
He’d stepped between me and those men like it was the most natural thing in the world. And when I reached out to him for help, he took my hand without hesitation and led me away.
Aisaka-kun is usually calm and quiet. He avoids conflict, avoids getting involved—always watching from the sidelines. Whenever I’d talk to him, he’d act annoyed, like it was a hassle.
But today... he was bold. Unflinching. He stood up for me without hesitation. Maybe it was just his sense of duty, but even so, his selflessness went too far. And I couldn’t complain—because thanks to him, I was saved. Honestly... I’m grateful.
Most boys—if I can even call them normal—see me as that perfect honor student. They can’t help but be aware of me. But Aisaka-kun... even before he knew my secret, he never really seemed that interested.
At best, he saw me as 'that smart, kinda cute girl in class.' —His words, not mine. But it was said so plainly, like it was just an observation.
He’s always been like that—so uninterested that it’s almost refreshing.
Maybe that’s why... even after learning the truth, his reactions were still too kind to call cold. Even when he said he hated being involved, it wasn’t me he hated—it felt more like he hated himself for getting dragged into it.
I know I’m the cause of all this, and yet... I can’t quite figure out what it is about me that makes him act that way.
Even so, he stays by my side. He talks to me.
“...And the fact that I find that comforting probably makes me the weird one.”
Aisaka-kun never denies who I really am.
Even though I’ve blackmailed him, even though there’s a photo tying us together, there’s no disgust or contempt in his eyes when he looks at me. Just mild annoyance at being caught up in something troublesome—but still, he stays near.
As long as that secret exists, Aisaka-kun can’t betray me.
I know that. I know it too well.
“I’m sorry. I just... can’t trust people. No matter how far I go, I’m always alone. I don’t know how to trust—or how to be trusted.”
People’s emotions are unstable and invisible. You can’t measure them with numbers, can’t see their size or their truth with your eyes.
That’s why I can only trust what’s proven—something tangible, something visible. Just like what I did after school... when I tested Aisaka-kun.
“I really am such a pain, huh? If everyone knew the truth about me... this so-called ‘honor student’... how would they react? They’d probably hate me. Call me the worst. A liar.”
A dry laugh slipped out, and my chest tightened painfully.
But then, I wondered—
What would Aisaka-kun say, if I ever told him the truth?
“Am I... expecting something? Me? No, I can’t. I’m not allowed to. No one would forgive me for that. If I’m not alone... I’ll only end up hurting someone.”
The warmth that had lingered in my hand was gone. My palm felt so cold it barely felt like part of me anymore.
It was as if even the core of my heart had frozen over completely.
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